How To Heal From Childhood Trauma? Ways To Fight For Your Own Emotional Survival.

I wish there were an easy way to heal childhood trauma.

I didn't know that I had PTSD, and what I was fighting was called trauma. I thought my childhood had been normal, and I was to blame for being abnormal. I had been fighting for my well-being for years. And I didn't dare to admit that I was battling for my physical and emotional survival.

For years I was tortured by guilt, shame, and thoughts like "Why can't I just get over it?", "I'm overreacting," "It didn't happen," or "It's in my imagination." Some days I was full of self-blame. Other days I was playing the self-pity game. But unfortunately, self-pity doesn't work out for me. I needed healing for my heart, mind, and soul. Instead, I struggled with devastating PTSD symptoms every day without understanding what I was fighting.

The first step in my healing process was acknowledging that childhood traumas were hunting me. 

Sadly, this is a more significant step than most people understand. The trauma did affect both my mental and physical health. It blocked my ability to lead a happy, joyful and meaningful life. 

Next, I had to recognize I needed help.

I searched for anything to help me get past my emotional trauma, PTSD symptoms, and feelings that tormented me. I yarned to get rid of the toxic state of mind. I wanted my energy back. I wanted my life back. Or, to be more precise, I wanted my life. 

The third step was to take responsibility for my healing journey. 

In my initial round in the health care system, I tried to blend in. Like many survivors after childhood traumas, I tried to figure out what was expected of me. In an unsafe environment, that's a necessary tactic. But in real life, it can mess up a lot of things. And I guess that's one factor that messed up one of my first therapies. 

Luckily, I got another chance. This time with a lady who handed the responsibility over to me. She didn't try to fix me. Instead, she was the guide, the advisor, the Gandalf on my journey. 

This therapist jumped into the passenger seat and let me handle the wheel. She tried to read the map but didn't shout out when I drove in the wrong direction. That could be confusing sometimes. But the map was so messy that you had to be a fortune-teller to read it. Occasionally, we got lost in the wilderness. But we got lost together, and that's way better than getting lost all by myself. 

Several people have asked me; How to find the best trauma therapist? Later I'll write an article about that. But when someone acts as God or The Almighty Wisdom, that's a sure sign that it's the wrong helper, and you should absolutely stay away from this person. 

This story is to be continued because...

I had to overcome trauma-related fears. 

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